In life, we walk amongst angels on earth much of the time and as adults, usually unaware of it but as children we witness them much more and Brenda was one of my angels, the others being my dear mother, a couple of people in the teaching profession who believed in me and persevered with me in spite of my rebellious nature and the other two were Labradors..... angels come in all shapes and sizes. A few months after my mother's passing, Edward and Brenda invited me to stay with them in Henley for a few days along with Helen, Matthew and Victoria. I was at boarding school and this along with my father's emotionally castrated family had not allowed me to grieve my loss and at the age of 15, I really had no idea how to deal with it. I was alone in the kitchen with Brenda and she didn't raise the subject, allowing me to do it. She simply asked how I was and I just said, 'I miss Mum very much' and she said 'she's still here with you all the time in spirit, it's just that you can't see her' and gave me a warm hug which was the first human contact I'd had since Mum had passed. She said, 'I'll never replace her but if you ever need a mother on earth, then I'm here for you. She asked if I had faith in God and I said no on the basis that my suspicions were confirmed as to him being a work of fiction because if he did exist, he wouldn't have taken my beautiful, vibrant mother before she'd even reached 40. Off the top of her head she recited the following words; One night I dreamed a dream As I was walking along the beach with my Lord Across the dark sky flashed scenes of my life For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand One belonging to me and one to my Lord After the last scene of my life flashed before me, I looked back at the footprints in the sand. I noticed that many times along the path of my life, Especially at the lowest and saddest times, there was only one set of footprints. This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it. "Lord, you said once I decided to follow you, You'd walk with me all the way. But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life, There was only one set of footprints. I don't understand why, when I needed you most, You would leave me." He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you Never, ever during your trials and testings. When you only saw one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you. I'm sure every adult has heard that poem many times before but to a 15 year old, it was something of a revelation. Brenda then changed the subject completely and asked if I had a girlfriend and I said yes and she's called Jane and is very pretty, that Mum had met her and liked her and we like films so we go to the cinema on Saturday afternoons and listen to music at her house because I wasn't allowed to have girl visitors at my school. She asked if I ever cooked for her and I admitted I didn't know how to cook... in 1975, the nearest males got to a domestic kitchen was to get a can of Double Diamond out of the fridge. She said the most romantic thing a man can do is cook a meal for his partner and so she taught me how to make a lamb casserole with mashed potatoes and greens. So, in the space of two hours, my angel on earth had made me feel loved and cared for, restored my faith in God and taught me a signature dish that cook to this day. She was the most remarkable woman and as a small example, when the three children had left home, she went and got a degree followed by a top job at an age when most people begin to consider putting their feet up. When all of us get to St Peter's gate, we will have to pass some tests to see if we are worthy to be allowed in. I personally have more chance of getting into MI6 given my predilection for various forms of sin and a taste for toxic substances. Being an angel, Brenda will have a back stage laminate pass, rather like you get at a major concert and St Peter will just wave her through. She'll now be with her equally lovely mother who will have something delicious in the oven, Edward will be complaining about something, Nana Harding will be bragging that she had a cup of tea with the Virgin Mary, my mother will be pouring her large Gin and Tonics and Uncle Jack who was a very successful bookmaker will be setting the odds for whose next..... I would imagine I'm 2/1 favourite, closely followed by Vladimir Putin but then of course, he's definitely going 'downstairs'! Our collective loss is heaven's gain and at this point I needn't say 'May God rest her soul' because you simply don't have to state that when it comes to angels.

Feel No Guilt in Laughter Feel no guilt in laughter, she’d know how much you care Feel no sorrow in a smile that she is not here to share You cannot grieve forever, she would not want you to She’d hope that you could carry on the way you always do So, talk about the good times and the way you showed you cared The days you spent together, all the happiness you shared. Let memories surround you, a word someone may say Will suddenly recapture a time, an hour, a day That brings her back as clearly as though.she were still here And fills you with the feeling that she is always near For if you keep those moments, you will never be apart And she will live forever locked safely within your heart.

Feel No Guilt in Laughter Feel no guilt in laughter, she’d know how much you care Feel no sorrow in a smile that she is not here to share You cannot grieve forever, she would not want you to She’d hope that you could carry on the way you always do So, talk about the good times and the way you showed you cared The days you spent together, all the happiness you shared. Let memories surround you, a word someone may say Will suddenly recapture a time, an hour, a day That brings her back as clearly as though.she were still here And fills you with the feeling that she is always near For if you keep those moments, you will never be apart And she will live forever locked safely within your heart.